I’ve been keeping a dirty little secret. Ever since our son Mylo was born, we’ve only slept through the night once, and even then it was a fluke. I understand that during the first few months of his life the no sleep thing is normal, but he’s 6 months old now and we just cannot go on like this.
My group of mom friends with babies the same age as Mylo have been buzzing about sleep training for the last couple of months. A few have returned to their full-time jobs and so establishing a routine in order to help prepare their babies for daycare was important. But we were not in the same boat so I did nothing with the useful information they were sharing. Ferber who?
Putting Mylo to bed usually goes something like this: breastfeeding, rocking in the rocking chair, walking around the house with all the lights out, breastfeeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding. Jason and I have been stuck in newborn mode, scared to put Mylo down in his crib while he is still awake.
Our middle of the nights go something like this: get woken up by him in the middle of the night, deliriously transport him from crib to bed, nurse, sleep, nurse, sleep, nurse. Although there’s always much more nursing going on then there is sleeping.
Recently, my husband Jason asked me why weren’t doing sleep training like my mom friends were. For starters, we have a one bedroom. Granted it’s large, but how could we sleep train in a one bedroom when I’m still breastfeeding? Everything I read says that a mom in the same bedroom as baby who is not planning on nursing is like holding cake up to someone but not letting him have a bite!
But then Mylo’s pediatrician emailed us a sleep training book that she’s a big fan of — The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman. I read it and finally understood how important it is to have a bedtime routine.
This past Monday, we began sleep training. While I didn’t have high hopes because of our one bedroom, I decided to put more emphasis on putting Mylo to bed at night and lessened my expectations of him actually sleeping through the night.
It’s been four nights now and I cannot believe the way he has taken to it. The routine takes a half hour each night and begins with a bath, followed by pajamas, a book, nursing and putting Mylo in the crib awake. He cried the first night for 13 minutes, fussed for less then five the next two nights and cried hysterically for six minutes last night.
In the middle of the night on the first night of sleep training he woke up twice. Both times we laid there and did not go to him. He didn’t cry but moaned and played and then eventually fell back asleep. Or maybe we fell asleep first. The second night he woke up one time in the middle of the night. And then the last two nights in a row… knock on wood… baby boy SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!
The routine, while time consuming, is fun. And in reality it takes less time and energy than our previous routine of rocking, nursing and soothing him to sleep. What’s more, this new routine gives me and Jason more time together. Time to connect and be intimate, which I almost forgot how important and fun that can be.
Putting baby boy in the crib awake. Who knew that's what you were supposed to do.
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Does your infant sleep through the night? Do you have any other sleep training tricks I don’t know about? If so, share the wealth!
Hi! Stopping in for ICLW (#139)…and I am so glad to have read this post! We have eight-month old twins and have been having a horrible time with sleeping. We breastfeed as well, and your (old) routine sounds so much like what we do. I spend the first four hours after we put the babies to bed nursing them back to sleep. It’s like playing that Whack-A-Mole game at Chuck-E-Cheese. One baby goes down, and the other pops up. And then it slows down a little bit, but we are up at least once an hour all night long. I am at my wits’ end. I think I’ve been on Dana Obleman’s website before, but I don’t remember it too well; I’m going to go have a closer look.
So glad that Mylo is sleeping for you, and thank you so much for sharing what has worked for you. I am encouraged – sounds like there is hope for us still! (Love the name Mylo btw – it reminds me of The Phantom Tollbooth, which was one of my favorite books growing up!)
First of all, my hats off to you. Life with a baby while amazing, has been such game changer. I cannot even begin to fathom how families of multiples do it. And the fact that you are breastfeeding? You are a supermom, that’s for sure.
As far as Mylo’s sleep training… I probably should not have spoken, or written, too soon. While it went beautifully the first week, it’s not going so hot this week. Putting him down at night after our routine is still a success but keeping him down after 3 in the morning has become a challenge. Last night I walked like a zombie over to his crib, picked him up without making eye contact, put him in the bed next to us and gave him the boob. I TOTALLY forgot that is what I said I didn’t want to do anymore. But what am I to do when he wakes in the middle of the night and I am so completely out of it, am I really in any condition to “train,” and even better, sit there and listen to him cry for me? Again, because of our one bedroom situation it’s something that is unclear to me how to resolve. Of course getting a bigger apt. would resolve it, but that might not happen until he’s closer to one year of age.
I yearn for those four or five nights we had of sleeping through and if I can will them back to us I would. And if I could will them over to you, I would do that next. In the meantime, if you come up with anything brilliant that works, please drop a line and share it with me. Looking forward to reading Twinside Out!
This is great. I don’t think I ever told you but that picture took of K and myelsf nursing in the park hugely inspired me not only to keep going, but to be more forthright with baby#2 and her access to mama milk. Getting K to nurse was a rough road, less so than some others but hard none the less. Your picture reminded me, and still does, why it is so very worth it.