There it is. I am thinking of becoming a doula.
My motivation for wanting to become a doula is my own birth experience.
Giving birth naturally was the crowning (no pun intended) moment in my life. It was the first time I understood the depth of my power and connection to the world and nature. It has changed the way I look at myself. I want more women to birth the way nature intended us to. When it comes to childbirth, I believe that women shouldn’t have to secede to man and his machines. Becoming a doula would affect what has become status quo when it comes to childbirth in this country.
Along with Goodnight Moon, my current bedside read.
My inspiration for wanting to become a doula is my mom.
Last year when I was pregnant, I told my mom that we were considering hiring a doula. She quipped, “You don’t need a doula, you’ve got me!”
Yes, I was one of those women who dared to let my mother be privy to one of the most vulnerable, intimate experiences of my life. And I should preface this by saying that my mom tends to wade in the bossy end of the pool (mom, if you’re reading this — I love you but you know it’s true).
I gave my mom clear orders weeks in advance of my due date. “Don’t talk down to the nurses. Don’t question my midwife. And whatever you do, DON’T try and run the show.”
As it turned out, having my mom as part of my birth team proved invaluable.
My mom timed my contractions at home. She held my hair back while I vomited profusely. She rubbed the small of my back in between contractions. She fed me water through a straw. She spoke to the nurses as if they were old college roommates. She kept an eye on Jason, my worried husband. She was in essence, my doula.
A Doula has to have amazing stamina. I know from my own experience that births could last 30 hours, possibly more! Now I’ll admit, I value nothing more than my sleep. And my designer shoe collection. And my son. But I also know I could go the distance. My stamina has shined in the four marathons I have trained for, and completed. The high of life entering the world is quite like the high that comes from pounding pavement for four hours.
Doula work is about providing emotional and physical support, something I know I would be good at. It’s not that far off from my time volunteering with hospice. Or time spent keeping company with homeless animals the night before they’re scheduled to be killed.
They are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, but birth is strikingly similar to death. Difficult and hauntingly beautiful.
Childbirth. Few other events in the life of a couple bring them together in such a memorable and profound fashion. I would be honored to be a part of that.
I think you would be an *incredible* doula! I really wish we had one at the twins’ birth. I wanted a natural birth so badly!! I dragged my husband kicking and screaming to Bradley classes, and when I was put on bedrest, I made him go by himself. He looooooved that. Really.
Off topic, but wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you today and your kitty today. I am so sorry.
Thank you thank you. So sweet. I’m still sort of feeling it all out. I am such an unexpected natural birth advocate. Believe me, I was open to the possibility of needing drugs. I even asked for them but was told it was too late. Looking back, I am happy it was. In your case with your twins delivered at 36 weeks, was it via cesarean?
And of course thanks about Kitty. That was not the first time I had to do that, but each time certainly feels like the first. ~Ree
We were expecting – and were all prepped – to have a c-section, but Inchworm (who was our Baby B, and had been transverse) turned right before they were going to wheel me to the operating room. The doctor did one last ultrasound check so he would know where the babies were when he went in, saw her moving head-down, and then he put the brakes on.
It wasn’t the natural birth I dreamed of – I was still required to have an epidural and deliver in an operating room, and we ended up having pitocin and internal monitoring – but it was as close to it as I could have asked for, given the situation. Doodlebug was in distress and was literally blue when he was born, and I hemhorraged afterward. I do sometimes wonder if I had been allowed to labor naturally (or if I had advocated for myself more), if it would have been different. But thankfully we were all ok. Plus we avoided the NICU and were discharged together!
I definitely think your experiences with hospice and the animal shelter would set you apart as a doula…give you an empathy and a strength that would be a great resource for a woman in labor. Good luck to you if you decide to move forward with it – I think you’d be great!
While I admire that you had hopes for a natural birth do you stop to pat yourself on the back once in a while? You gave birth to TWO babies in succession, vaginally, and four weeks early no less. That must have been stressful enough. And… you are breastfeeding them with great success. Better and longer than most moms breastfeed one! Jeesh. My hats off to you, once again
~Ree