Author: Reedu

Getting rid of the dog for the baby…

I was recently contacted by a woman who lives in the Courthouse, the Brooklyn building I had previously lived in for seven years. Her twins just turned one and are more mobile now — so her dog of three years is getting the boot.

She claims Murray is skittish around them as well as protective and aggressive when it comes to his food. Meanwhile the adults in the home can handle his food and food bowl without a problem. What preempted her email to me was a recent nip Murray gave her son when the tot found his way over to his food cabinet.

She wanted my help in rehoming Murray. I explained the process to her, she would have to sign a waiver and normally pay a surrender fee but because we would need some time to place him I waived the $150 fee. She assured me she could realistically give him one more month. The clock was now ticking for a dog whom she loved and cared for for three years.

murray3

My husband Jason asked me why I was helping her if I was so aggravated by the situation.

I suppose the biggest reason is because at 18 pounds and fluffy, Murray is a very adoptable dog. He’s the perfect apartment pooch. I suppose the other reason is because this woman contacted me in 2010 about adopting a small dog. Pregnant and unemployed at the time, I wasn’t actively doing rescue but I told her I’d keep my eyes open. Shortly after, she went out of town for the holidays and came home with Murray. She adopted him from a shelter down south when he was just a pup.

So I guess you could say that if it weren’t Murray, it would have been one of my dogs and the rescue would therefore be contractually responsible in assisting her to rehome him.

Over the course of one weekend, Murray’s need for a new home became urgent. He lunged at another dog while her mom was walking him and bit her ankle on the re-direct. Still without any open foster homes, I went out on another limb and shared Murray with the New York City rescue community. The following day a friend put me in touch with Dog Halsey who runs Ready For Rescue. He had an open foster home on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

Thankfully I had my rescue partner Michele to vent to via text. When I told her about Doug she asked, “You think we really can’t place him?”

I told her “It’s just that she’s now all of a sudden in a rush and I don’t appreciate her pushiness at all. The whole thing puts a really bad taste in my mouth. I can’t begin to tell you what I think of yuppies who can’t make it work. I almost disrespect them more then those who typically ditch their animals.”

When I told the woman that there was a rescue willing and able, she informed me that Murray went to her friend’s place in Brooklyn. She kept me and Doug waiting for yet another day as she pondered yanking Murray from the friend to give him a real shot at him being properly rehomed. Turns out she is is secretly holding out hope that the friend will keep him, so she passed on Doug’s open foster home.

Needless to say, Doug was annoyed with this woman and I think, possibly even annoyed with me.

During the following week and a half, I made two unsuccessful attempts at following up with this woman after inquiries started rolling in about Murray. My third attempt was quite curt. While apologetic, she replied that she had been in the hospital and that her friend is going to keep Murray. I told her that was great, as long as this friend didn’t plan on starting a family of her own some day. I warned that if she does, there’s a good chance that Murray could find himself in the very same predicament.

Had we placed him, we only would have put him in a home with an older person, or older couple, thereby limiting that risk. She didn’t seem to care.

I’m happy Murray got a home. But I’m even happier to be done with this woman.

 

 

XMAS 2012

The holidays came and went so fast. They kicked off with an important visit from my brother, who was in route with his family for an 18 month stint abroad in Singapore. This visit back home was Diya’s first to her dad’s hometown. It was also the last time I would most likely see my brother for the next year or so.

Here are some photos from a memorable Christmas holiday.

Mylo wasn't having it on Santa's lap alone

Daddy and Diya

This Ukulele caused a scene at Barnes & Noble one day. Naturally, Santa made sure he got it for Xmas.

At Goomah's house with the gingerbread house we made in the background

Miscarrying A Second Time

This past February, when I miscarried, I chalked the loss up as “not meant to be” and it not being the right time. We weren’t exactly trying when I got pregnant and somehow the loss felt as if we were meant to pay the price for it.

Afterwards, Jason and I made a conscious effort to wait. We planned a vacation in Napa Valley and agreed that wine country wouldn’t be much fun with me as designated driver.

We began “trying” in July. When I didn’t get pregnant right away I became worried. Of course I regretted our decision to wait all those months prior.

But then some time in September I conceived. The following month I began bleeding and cramping. It was happening again.

Because I was so focused on possibly not getting pregnant at all, I certainly never considered another miscarriage an option. Especially since statistics show that “for 80 to 90 percent of women who lose one pregnancy, the next one, even with no treatment, results in a successful birth.”

I immediately took to the Internet. I learned two things rather quickly: there was a slue of unknowns when it came to miscarriage, and there was an overwhelming abundance of information that made it difficult to know where to start. Shortly after I fell victim to “Dr. Google,” I shared my unfortunate news with a close friend. She  reminded me of a mutual friend who also had two miscarriages while trying to conceive her second child, and encouraged me to reach out to her.

I was newly married around the time that Jenn was finally expecting a second baby. I’ll never forget the long stroll we took on the beach in Miami while on vacation with friends. Jenn shared so much with me about her hopes and fears on that walk. Perhaps it was from our talk, or from the hard work of plowing through the sand under the hot Florida sun while seven months pregnant, but Jenn eventually broke down. Having children was not in my immediate future, but it felt important to be right there and then, for my friend. I was touched that she confided in me despite my not being able to relate.

With Jenn during a trip to Miami in 2008

Fast forward four years. We weren’t on a beach in Miami (oh how I wish) – she was on Long Island and I was in Brooklyn, but her support and the information she shared is what ultimately got me through my second miscarriage. She told me how progesterone suppositories were responsible for saving her third pregnancy, the second time around. In researching progesterone suppositories I found out what a luteal phase defect was, and how this could lead to early losses in pregnancy and therefore, secondary infertility.

I was able to arm myself with a ton of knowledge so that when it came time to sitting before an OBGYN, I knew all the right questions to ask, and all the right things to push for. The doctor even remarked to me during one visit, that I knew my stuff.

It was late October when I began my journey to finding out why I was miscarrying at almost five weeks along. The following month I had a pelvic ultrasound, a hysteroscopy, and blood work that all yielded results “within the range of normal.” I was relieved, but the good results provided absolutely no clarity or comfort about my losses. I shared the news with Jenn who replied via text:

My doc found I was fine on paper too, but gave me prog. suppos. anyway. Ask your doc for it and if he won’t give it to you, come out here to my doc, get the goods and after 3 months leave him and go back to your doc.

At my next appointment I asked my doctor to support my efforts at keeping a pregnancy. He explained the pluses and minuses of using the suppositories. They can give me that boost in progesterone needed to sustain a pregnancy until the placenta takes over around week 10. But he also cautioned that if not actually pregnant, the suppositories could act as birth control and prevent me from ovulating.

He agreed and wrote me a prescription for Crinone. And now we try again.

Mylostone – Scooting

When Mylo was 17 months old we saw a young boy who looked of a similar age, whizzing around on a scooter at the park. I asked his dad who was scooting along with him, how old he was. He was nineteen months.

A short while after, I ran out and got my boy a scooter.

Since his earliest months, Mylo has been such a physical child. At just three months old, he would grab hold of the tassels on our living room carpet and drag himself forward. At seven months old, he learned to pull himself up holding on to the TV console. So it wasn’t ridiculous of me to assume that my son would take to scooting overnight.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

As most things in our home do, the scooter acquired a name, Ergo. However there was little interest in doing anything with Ergo other than pushing it back and forth from Mylo to daddy or Mylo to mommy, down our long hallway. We would take it to the park, only to have it sit and gain the interest of every child but our own.

I was a bit surprised, not to mention that I felt a little bit defeated, too. Mylo loved to figure out how to make things operate, and the fact that he couldn’t make the Ergo work, was disappointing. I had cast it aside as an $85 house toy that looked good parked next to Jason’s bike in our spare bedroom.

But then it happened, almost overnight. He was two years and three months old. I went to work and came home to stories from Mylo’s goomah (grandma) about him and Ergo at the park. I just nodded and smiled, indulging her tendency to sometimes exaggerate, as doting grandmother’s often do. But she had proof.

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I can’t describe what it was like to see this video of my son riding his scooter. I was shocked and amazed but I was also extremely proud and even somewhat relieved. Those feelings were reaffirmed when I took Mylo out on his scooter the next day and watched him ride away with my very own eyes.

The first week he scooted at just the park. By the second week he was out the door with Ergo in tow and scooting down some of Brooklyn’s quiet brownstone blocks. Now Mylo’s even scooting down the busy sidewalks of Court Street and Smith Street, with me chasing behind him.

He’s even gotten creative with Ergo. While at my inlaws’ house in Connecticut for the Thanksgiving holiday, we discovered a solution for our new addition who pulls like crazy on her lead. Mind you, Griffie is an eight pound dog.

Griffie channels her inner husky while pulling Mylo on his Ergo.

 

 

Chipotle Coming to Cobble Hill

Few things in life make me so happy I can cry. My wedding day was one. The birth of my son was definitely another. And the recent discovery that a Chipotle Mexican Grill is coming to my neighborhood brought me to tears. Literally.

It’s not like there isn’t already a Chipotle close by. The one in Brooklyn Heights is a 10 minute walk and around the corner from our bank. We normally pay (no pun intended) the two a visit once a week. But now that we’re in Cobble Hill, the Heights is kind of a hike, especially in the winter when it’s cold and gets dark super-early. So the fact that the new one is going to be just up the street from us is more than convenient.

While doing errands on Friday, I glanced through the open door and saw stools and a maroon menu board. Though still under construction, the familiar decor was unmistakable. I tweeted Chipotle shortly after, told them how excited I was and they responded, “We hope to see you around the beginning of December!”

The new Chipotle is at 140 Court Street and will be adjacent to Trader Joe’s and the Brooklyn Wine Exchange. It stands to get a gut renovation seeing how it was home to a pet store for as long as I’ve lived here. When Beastly Bites’ rent went up last year, they moved out and opened up shop across the street. This small store front has sat empty for over a year!

Posing in front of the soon-to-be Chipotle on Court St., my husband gets a kick out of my love for their vegetarian burrito bowl.

It’s a brilliant move location-wise. Sure it’s a chain, but a Chipotle in Cobble Hill makes a whole lot more sense then the Five Guys Burger and Fries that opened up in July 2011 and didn’t even survive a year.

My childhood friend and upstairs neighbor likes to hate on Chipotle, mainly because I like it. He calls it “glorified fast food.” Maybe it is, but at least it’s healthy fast food.

Welcome to the neighborhood Chipotle!!

 

Halloween with Mylo at 2 Yrs.

I couldn’t bring myself to dress Mylo up for his first Halloween. He wasn’t even three months old so the thought of putting him in a silly, albeit cute costume, seemed solely geared at pleasing no one but myself. It didn’t feel right.

But last year I did dress him up. Mylo was a lion and because of his full head of wavy hair it didn’t matter that he wouldn’t don the lion headpiece. We went to Cobble Hill Park up the road from where we live and watched a calypso band lead a gaggle of children through the park. I kept company with my mommy friends. We stood around gabbing, while admiring all the kids in their costumes.

Halloween 2011

This year, at just over two years old, Halloween with Mylo was a total game changer.

This Halloween was one of the first times I regretted not being more crafty. After earnestly scouring the Internet for creative ways to make a Little Prince costume, I gave up. Try searching for a pair of vintage, pistachio green bell bottoms for little boys and see how much luck you have. I assure you, not much.

So it was off to the pop-up Halloween shop on Livingston Street in Downtown Brooklyn. I considered Elmo, and Superman but cringed at all the warrior-esque type costumes. Also frustrating were the $30 costumes that had the headpiece and a prop but left the actual outfit, up to you. If I was going to be crafty, I certainly wasn’t going to be half-ass about it!

The cutest costumes there, were the ones for babies.  A little lobster. A baby bee. A pea in the pod! I was beginning to think I had really missed out on putting my baby in costume on his first Halloween.

But then I saw it. Batman. It was $22 and came complete with a black bodysuit and cape and mask. The latter of which I was scared he would want nothing to do with. I even bought myself ears and a tail so I could be Catwoman.

I knew I’d have to ease him into wearing Batman’s headpiece, but how? I removed it from its packaging and put it on myself. He looked at me inquisitively. But when I asked if he wanted to try it on, he took off running.

I Googled “Batman” from our iPad and showed him image after image of superhero in his cape and batpod motorbike. I had captured the boy’s interest for sure. A few minutes later, he was running around our apartment in his diaper and cape-mask. I don’t always know what I am doing, but I swear that moments like those reassure me that I’m not half-bad at this mom thing.

When Batman became cool for my kid.

Halloween arrived two days after Hurricane Sandy made landfall. Brooklynite’s who had been cooped-up for two days straight were eager to get out of the house and commiserate with others. The streets were teaming with children and parents in costume, me and my son included.

Halloween 2012

Mylo had the best time trick-or-treating and I had even more fun watching him. I was surprised by how quickly he got into the rhythm of  it all. Any time there was a crowd of kids going up one set of brownstone stairs he was right behind them. “Twick-O-Tweat” he’d say exuberantly, followed by a sometimes too-quiet “tank-you.”

There were funny moments, like the time he took a break and sat on someone’s stoop. Kids came up to him saying “trick-or-treat” and then began to help themselves to the candy in his pumpkin. Luckily Catwoman was right by his side and put an end to the invasion, quickly.

Weathering Superstorm Sandy in Brooklyn

Following Saturday’s pumpkin picking and painting festivities, Mylo got sick. We were home bound with a fever-stricken child on the cusp of Superstorm Sandy, which was expected to hit the New York City area hard.

Sunday was business as usual in our house. Doing laundry coupled with watching football. When the storm projections became more serious we picked up some essentials from the grocery store and from the drugstore. I’ll admit, the lines out the door and the near-empty shelves had me a tad nervous. But the day rolled on… until Mayor Bloomberg terminated the NYC transit system. My husband was even told not to show up to work – this coming from a boss who rented a van and picked up all his employees during Hurricane Irene last year.

Our deck furniture all battened down!

Monday felt like the longest day ever. We hunkered down with Mylo who was on the mend. We didn’t take our eyes off the news coverage. We took the dogs for quick walks despite the hard winds and constant mist of rain. Luckily, my friend Scott lives upstairs with his wife and a toddler of their own, so when we got real stir crazy, they came over. We drank wine, played with the kids and waited out the storm. Together.

I communicated with my parents on Long Island up until about 5pm.

A mutual friend of mine and Scott’s who lives close to the water in DUMBO was evacuated by the NYC Fire Department after the lobby of his building began to fill with water. The transistors in the basement of the building across the way from them caught on fire. Chris, his girlfriend Julie and their dog, hitched a ride up the hill to our place.

We eventually put the kids to bed and then the “real” Sandy soiree began!

A few bottles of wine, a really good bottle of champagne and some 18 martinis later, we were having a blast. Other than the lights flickering a few times and the loss of TV and Internet, you wouldn’t have known their was a full-fledged hurricane happening right outside. Probably the only pain we felt from Sandy was a hangover the next day.

Friends since kindergarten and the seventh grade!

The morning after Sandy it was eerily quiet out on the streets. There were fallen trees as far as my eyes could see. Sirens wailed in the distance. Normally where there are cars, people were walking in the middle of the street. When we arrived at the bagel place on Court St. we found its massive awning laying in the middle of the street and the doors boarded closed.

Hurricane Sandy's aftermath on Bergen St.

After our unsuccessful bagel trip, we *tried* to get a table at the diner – turns out one of the few places open in our neighborhood – across the street. Just to put things into perspective a little: On a typical day, this diner has a few tables occupied at a time. The morning after Sandy, it was standing room only. When Jason told the host we were six adults and two kids, he pretty much turned us down on the spot and advised him to not bother waiting. Ahh, if only I had the time to write THAT up on Yelp!

Mylo and Olivia walking to the diner the morning after Sandy.

While Monday felt like the longest day ever as we waited and waited for Sandy to make landfall, Tuesday, which was largely spent trying to connect with family, felt even longer. Neither me, Scott or Chris, who’s parents weathered the storm in our hometown, could reach any of them. Jason also lost touch with his father in Westchester.

I didn’t hear from my folks until Wednesday, a whole two days after the storm. They lost power, had a ton of downed trees in their yard pulling down power lines, and had to drive around town just to find an unreliable cell phone connection. And then came the mile-long lines for gasoline to fill their generator. They likened my safe, hilly, waterfront town with no traffic lights, road detours and tons of downed trees to that of a “war zone.”

Superstorm Sandy nailed some and not others. We were virtually unaffected by it while my folks have been royally stressed and inconvenienced by it. But there are others whose lives have been forever changed by the storm. When I really think about it, I am grateful. Beyond grateful.

 

 

 

Pumpkin Picking & Painting at PS9 in Brooklyn

Yesterday we went with our friend and neighbor and our little ones to PS9 in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. The kids ran around the school yard, picked a pumpkin and then painted them inside the school cafeteria. Mylo has taken to calling pumpkins “cuppin.” His friend Olivia calls them “punky.” It’s downright adorable.

Picking their cuppins' and punky's!

Picking the pumpkin was a whole lot of fun but painting it was even better! The kids just ate it up. And after making a whole big (washable) mess, they then went and made a mess out of eating Halloween cupcakes!

Painting their cuppins' and punky's!

A Picasso in the making!

Playing in the school yard for half an hour wasn’t enough to make their works of art (pumpkins) dry so we left them in the cafeteria and went and had brunch at Vanderbilt in Prospect Heights. Mylo, who went to bed the night before battling some sort of virus, fought his nap and started to take a turn for the worse. Jason rushed home with him in a cab while Shelly and I walked our strollers the one mile stretch home.

Despite my little boy not feeling well at the end, it was a wonderful fall day in Brooklyn!

The finished product.

 

 

Baked Ziti at Sam’s Restaurant and Pizzeria in Brooklyn Inuduces Labor

Everyone knows at least one tall story about something that supposedly induces labor. Spicy food is a really popular one. Raspberry leaf tea is another. And more than one woman has whispered to me about the labor-inducing powers of sex.

So needless to say I was a little skeptical when someone informed me that the baked ziti at Sam’s Restaurant and Pizzeria in Brooklyn is legendary for sending women to the delivery room. However, I was nine-months pregnant at the time, and the woman who told me said it so matter-of-factly, it was as if she was telling me the sky was blue.

I told my mom about the ziti rumor at Sam’s and she was intrigued. So intrigued in fact, that we ate there the night before my due date. The waiter, Louie, looked at me and my burgeoning belly and said “What can I get you’s.” I said the baked ziti and waited for him to wink or give me some sort of sign that I had come to the right place. But instead he said nothing. So my mom pressed him and he confessed, admitting that dozens of women have had the ziti and claim to have gone into labor shortly after. He even told us how he was born in the apartment upstairs “before your time,” and that his mom had the ziti, too.

Louie, the waiter at Sam's, was born in the apartment upstairs.

What I remember about the baked ziti at Sam’s was that it was delicious. I also remember being incredibly full afterwards. But I will mostly remember how contractions started in the early morning hours following dinner. Was it the ziti? Or was it just my due date? Well, I know what Louie would say. He keeps the secret of his ziti under wraps, but with a little prodding Louie is the first to confess it’s magical powers .

The baked ziti at Sam's before...

Days later, when we were home with our baby, my mom insisted we go back to Sam’s to tell Louie the good news. He couldn’t believe it, and yet he could

These last two years I’ve chalked up the ziti at Sam’s and my going into labor the next day as a mere coincidence. That was until my good friend Melissa went to Sam’s the night before her due date, had the baked ziti and also went into labor in the early morning hours on her due date. Was it the ziti? Well, we know what Louie would say…

The baked ziti after...

Documentary Film, “Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin & the Farm Midwives”

I just learned that there is a new documentary film making the festival circuit about Ina May Gaskin & the Farm Midwives. Wonderful! I also learned that as of right now, there’s no planned screening in New York City. Not so wonderful!

This past March, not long after I miscarried, I saw Ina May speak at the 92 St. Y in Manhattan. That evening would have been more profound had I had a baby in utero, but it was just as moving and invigorating. I mean how could I not get excited about listening to one of my heroes speak to fellow moms, doulas and birth activists, just a few feet away from me? There is something so comforting, so reassuring and so empowering about this mother of all midwives.

Ina May Gaskin, interviewed by Jennifer Block, holds a hand sewn quilt with the embroidered names of hundreds of moms who lost their lives during childbirth.

Check out the trailer below, like their Facebook page and hope this important documentary makes its way to NYC soon!

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