We’ve been very fortunate in the childcare department. Since the day my son Mylo entered the world this past August, there’s been a gaggle of grandparents surrounding him and supporting us. And we honestly could not be doing it all without them.
I am so very lucky and so very grateful that I got to spend the first seven months of my son’s life at home with him. We made new friends, went to the movies, hung out in bars and most of all, we bonded. My time off with my son has not only enriched my life, but has affirmed my opinion of this country’s lack of standard, paid parental leave for moms and dads — which pales in comparison to Canada and European countries.
Because we’re not ready to put Mylo in daycare and because we wouldn’t be able to entertain a nanny salary right now, we’ve relied on our families for help.
Even though I haven’t worked in over one year I’ve figured out that I don’t want to be at home full-time. Yet I also don’t want to go back to work full-time. I know, not a ton of options out there for moms like me, but I recently took on a new project (that I have yet to unveil here on my blog) that will allow me to do just that. But because of this new project and Jason’s freelancing work, our lives just went from somewhat managed to insanely busy.
Thanks to my mom who has a demanding job in academia, my father who recently retired and my mother-in-law who keeps a busy social life, we’ve been able to carry out our zany and changing schedules from week-to-week. Not only do the grandparents drive two to four hours round trip to see their grandchild, but they also come bearing food for us to stockpile in our fridge. They keep us sane and they keep us well fed.
Granna Dianna, Mylo and The Bug.
And while these three forces have been very present in Mylo’s life since birth, I have only recently seen the value in the special bonds that are being forged. When one of the grandparents comes through the door he squeals with delight at the sound of their voice – even before he sees their face. He reaches out to be held by them. They play special games. My dad speaks to him exclusively in Arabic. My mother-in-law speaks to him exclusively in French.
I should also add that this has been great for me. I am learning a lot about letting go and handing the reins over to someone else — which for a neat-freak and self-proclaimed perfectionist, isn’t always easy. It has been invaluable for me to leave the house a few times a week to go out and be “Reedu” and not just a mom with a ton of responsibilities.
Horsin' around with Sidi.
And yet I am reminded even more of how valuable these friendships are following the recent, back-to-back news of two of our family members being diagnosed with cancer. I was 22 when my grandmother died, with whom I was very close. My son would be so blessed to have one, if not ALL of his grandparents in his life for that many years.
Of being a grandmother, my mom told me once, “It’s everything I thought it would be and more.” Another time my dad asked me if I thought he’d live long enough to have a drink with his grandson. And my MIL yearns to show her grandbaby her beautiful garden in France.
First bath with Grandma Claire.
I am so touched the grandparents feel great happiness in having an active role in my son’s life. He is one lucky and loved little boy…
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What about you, are you at home full-time with your baby(ies)? If so, how do you find relief? And if you work full-time I’d love to hear how you manage it all. Please share!
