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A Comforting Good-Bye

Tuesday night I attended a wake at Scotto Funeral Home in Carroll Gardens. The mother of Carmen, the woman who adopted Annie the Min-Pin from my rescue, passed away after battling Alzheimer’s Disease for the past 18 years. For the last twelve of those difficult years Carmen was her caretaker. Her mom died in hospice at home, the same home in Brooklyn where Carmen was born and raised.

At the wake Carmen told me she had eight siblings, six of which her mom buried over the years. Some of them as young as babies.

My son is 20 months old so it was difficult to swallow those words and to fathom that kind of grave loss. It was also tough to look at the coffin, which was open. Carmen’s mom was a skinny skeleton who looked nothing like the heavyset smiley woman in the photos that decorated the funeral parlor. She wore a cotton pink nightie with the word Brooklyn scrawled across it– and that’s what I will remember the most, I think: that Carmen gave the coroner her mom’s comfortable around-the-house nightie to dress her in, as opposed to her Sunday best.

It’s weird to think I walked away from a funeral feeling comfort and not sadness. And perhaps a bit of reassurance too, that one of my dogs landed herself the kind of people who will stick with her and take care of her until the very end.

Annie now called Jackie, leans on her bonded housemate Zero

Happy Re-birthday Ella

On March 21, 2008 our dog’s fate was sealed and my life was just weeks away from changing… forever. Four years ago today was the day Ella was brought into Brooklyn Animal Care & Control, a high-kill shelter in New York City, after someone had caused her severe physical harm: both of her front legs were broken.

She was rescued by an animal welfare organization, we went to meet her, took her home and the rest was history. Actually, I lie. “The rest” was at times extremely stressful and challenging, the details of which are outlined in her blog. But adopting Ella taught me so much and opened the door to my passion for rescuing animals, specifically pit bulls.

There is so much about this breed of dog that tugs at my heart strings. For starters, they are grossly misunderstood. There is no other breed who responds to the human/dog relationship like pit bulls do. This is one insight into the fighting dynamic they suffer. But it is also the reason they are able to recover from insane cruelty. I am inspired by my dog, and by others like her. Happy Re-birthday Stinky Mama!

I'm a lover. Not a fighter.

First Post of 2012

I am a bad blogger. I haven’t written about my son in months and it’s a shame because he’s growing and developing in leaps and bounds and I haven’t the time to document a lot of it.

I am a bad mom. With almost a moment’s notice, I ran off to Las Vegas with my best friend, crashing a trip my mom and dad had previously planned there. My brother and his pregnant wife tagged along, too. We. Had. A. Blast.

What happens in Vegas...

I have a good son. Well, sometimes. Besides calling anything with fur that moves, Ella, the name of our dog, he now clearly says Dee-Dee, the nickname of our cat. He also says momma and dadda with purpose. Much to my enjoyment and to Jason’s chagrin, he knows the word “cookie” which he pronounces “coke-a.” He does so many things that delight me, like kiss the boo-boo on my hand, and so many things that frustrate me, like constantly drag me to the fridge so that I can watch him empty its contents, only to eventually abandon all of it.

Be still my beating heart...

Mylo started daycare in November and has been healthy for all of one week since. Seriously, he spent the entire month of November sick. So much so that it required his first antibiotic, a non-Mylostone milestone. It is mid-January and he is with cold, again. His doctors tell us to look on the bright side: when he starts kindergarten he won’t be sick as much because his immunity is strengthening thanks to other snot-nosed Brooklyn babies and toddlers. Other than being sick all the time, daycare’s been great. While he’s not always so thrilled when we drop him off, it’s doing great things for him. They provide a vegetarian menu at daycare and the women there genuinely seem like they care about him. He’s learning to share, and he’s learned to nap in a pack n’ play. Yes, NAP! The most precocious boy who would only nap in a moving stroller, has finally taken to napping in a crib, with a bottle. Hallelujah.

I am working again, part-time and it’s fantastic. I am also currently waiting on big news. NO, I am not pregnant. To think we had talked about having another in 2012 makes me think someone must have spiked our drinks. Or, we were just high on life. I am not low, but I cannot even imagine bringing new life into the world right now. There is so much we are working on, and talking about… not to mention a certain little someone who stimulates and exhausts every fiber of our being. Our plates are full and our palettes are sated. For now anyway :)

 

What happened to Angel’s Gate?

A friend recently brought the news about Angel’s Gate to my attention and it has left me sad and extremely confused. To say that this organization was one that I looked up to and admired is an understatement. This hospice for animals began in a town away from my hometown. I volunteered with them, ran their 5K’s every summer, donated to them on a monthly basis and stood by them while they were being pushed out of their home by the town.

While I do support PETA, I also take everything they do and say with a grain of salt. Susan Marino was obviously in way over her head. It happens to many animal rescuers, and it is unfortunate.

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This statement was recently posted on the organization’s website:

As many of you know, for unknown reasons Angel’s Gate has been the target of an unwarranted attack.  Unfortunately, this has resulted in the circulation of many false accusations and rumors.

We here at Angel’s Gate, have created a gentle and compassionate environment to allow our resident animals to live out the final chapter of their lives with dignity and receive specialized care for their individual needs.  Anyone thinking otherwise simply hasn’t visited the facility or witnessed the extraordinary work accomplished on a daily basis by the committed and loving staff.

Angel’s Gate is not a shelter; it is a hospice and as such, many of the animals require care that most pet owners never have to contemplate.  Our residents’ health and safety are our primary concerns and we go to remarkable lengths to ensure their well-being.

We are appreciative of our supporters who continue to believe in us and our work as we go through this difficult ordeal.  We also hope there comes a day when animal care and rights groups start working with, and not against, each other.  We all have a common goal: ensuring the well-being of sentient creatures who, for better or worse, have found themselves at the mercy of our care.  Angel’s Gate hopes that you continue to support our mission so that we may provide for terminally ill animals and rehabilitate those with special needs in the future.

Sincerely,
The Board of Directors of Angel’s Gate

Our New Home

We’ve been in our new home in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn for over a month and we love it. The actual move was a total bitch and it took us several days sans child (he was at his grandparents house in Connecticut) to make the apartment safe and ready for our son to come home to.

When people ask how our new place is I say it’s great, it is, but coming from seven years of living in a full service building I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was also a big adjustment. The three bedroom apartment with a deck is a total upgrade as far as apartments go but the one floor walk-up with no super has been a complete downgrade in buildings.

Mylo on our deck which has no furniture, yet.

For instance, we are responsible for sorting our recycling and taking the trash to the curb three times per week in our new home. In our old building we were one of 320 apartments in which anything you threw out went down a garbage chute at any time of day you wanted. In our new home recycling only gets collected on Mondays. I can tell you from two weeks of some of our refuse getting rejected that the Department of Sanitation is strict when it comes to having the right bags, the right twine and the right square foot of curb for your trash.

Now that we have our garbage routine down there is a nice ebb and flow to our lives here on Bergen Street. We’re a little worried about what the empty storefront down below will be. If it’s a bar we’re screwed but if it’s a burger joint as it’s rumored to be, even as vegetarians we could probably make do. But of course a shoe store that closes at 8pm would be the ideal downstairs neighbor!

Another awesome thing about our new home is that my friend Scott from junior high school, his wife Shelly and their 10 month old daughter Olivia, live upstairs from us. It’s been a blast. We drink wine in our pajamas, not to mention it’s proved convenient when we’ve locked ourselves out of our respective apartments. Mylo gave Olivia her first kiss the other night — my heart melted and Scott’s raced as he watched his little girl squeal in delight. Never in my life did I think our children would be playing together, much less stealing precious moments together. To tell you that mine and Scott’s relationship growing up was one built on a lot of joking around is an understatement. But it was also shaped and somewhat marred by the tragic loss of a mutual friend. I am so glad he is back in my life and of course it helps that I adore Shelly, too!

Breastfeeding Ends

In mid-October breastfeeding my son Mylo came to an end. He was just over 14 months old.

I am one part relieved because I wasn’t eager to be breastfeeding a toddler, but also several parts sad. Never in my pre-baby life did I think I would breastfeed. And if I did, that I would come to enjoy it.

While I less-than-cared for the five months of spit up that came after each feeding, I thought it was awesome that I was the sole source of my son’s nourishment. Not to mention it was gratifying that at a moments freak out, my boob in his mouth had the ability to soothe him beyond belief. Our first game – blowing zerberts – began while breastfeeding. Thanks to the uber-understanding Brooklyn community in which I live, breastfeeding in public was something that I found empowering, and welcoming. I breastfed Mylo in movie theatres, in restaurants, in bars and tons of other public spaces. One time, I even breastfed Mylo who was having a meltdown in his stroller, on the steps of someone’s multi-million dollar Brooklyn Brownstone. It was 90 degrees out and I needed to sit.

Ah, sitting. One of the things I appreciated most about breastfeeding is that it made me sit. Other than sitting on an airplane which, let’s face it, doesn’t happen often these days, I never “just” sit. Giving him a bottle still requires sitting, but it’s not the same.

I am so proud and grateful that Mylo took this journey with me. (Even though I know it will make him squirm when he reads this post some day) :)

Mylo was a lion for Halloween. Breastfeeding came to an end around this time.

 

A Bittersweet Move

I am anxious. I am torn. And I am excited. We are moving this weekend.

The good news is that we’re leaving our one bedroom apartment in our Brooklyn neighborhood for a three bedroom apartment down the block. We’re leaving behind floor to ceiling windows with partial Manhattan views for a quiet street view in a one floor walk-up that costs less than a two bedroom where we live now. We’re moving up (no pun intended), but why then am I so sad?

Brooklyn sky

One of my favorite things about our Brooklyn neighborhood is the strong sense of community it invokes. The community which I feel so connected to is even more present in the building I have lived in for the last seven years. With 320 apartments, we don’t just have a lot of friends here, but our dog Ella does, too. Of the few hundred apartments at The Courthouse at least half have dogs. We have forged close relationships with neighbors over the years and with the staff, too. Two doormen in particular. We have seen new life enter the building, our own son Mylo included. We’ve also seen old life – like the producer with Lou Gehrig’s disease – leave the building. And tragically, not so old life, like the mom on the eighth floor who recently left behind two young children. And of course Kitty died here, too.

It would have been nice to stay on in our building. Two years ago we left our cozy studio in the south tower for our big one bedroom in the north tower. Having a baby in a one bedroom apartment was doable until Mylo was five months old and no longer co-sleeping peacefully. It became even more difficult though at about eight months when he wasn’t even sleeping in his crib peacefully.

So the kid got the room and mom and dad moved out into the living room. That’s right. We’ve been sleeping on the floor college-style since April. It’s been fun, and cozy, and I’ve grown accustomed to watching my Tivo’d shows in bed, but let’s face it, it ain’t practical. So moving to a three-bedroom is a big huge step up. I should be happy, right? I am.

But I am also sad. There are lots and lots of memories here that don’t quite feel transportable — I can’t pack them in a box with all our belongings and take them with us.

But I will try.

Mylostone – First Word

This Mylostone is long over-due. I don’t know the exact date but it was well before Mylo’s first birthday when he said his first word. And no it was not “mom”. Nor was it “dad”, or any version of the two. It was Ella. That’s right, our dog’s name. It’s true.

The first time he said it he was crawling all over her. He began smacking his hands up and down on her — I know, probably not the ideal that we’re allowing him to hit the dog, but she’s so remarkably gentle and patient when he does this. And then he said it, “Er-ra!” And he hasn’t stopped since. When he’s at my parents house he says her name over and over again and even runs to the door we use to let her outside in the backyard.

A wonderful friendship is developing before my very eyes and I cannot wait to watch it grow. And to watch them grow, together.

Besties.

Happy 1st Birthday Mylo, My Love

Yesterday morning I went for a four mile run over the Brooklyn Bridge. On the same morning last year at 40 weeks pregnant, I walked up a very steep hill in my hometown on Long Island. I’m confident that that challenging walk is what helped start labor because in the middle of the night on my due date, contractions began. It would be an entire day later and then some, though, before our son Mylo entered the world. One year ago today.

I am a mixed bag of emotions. One moment it feels like yesterday and in the next moment it feels like he has always been in our lives. I feel so lucky and so honored to be a part of every Mylostone, every development and every day. So happy to be Mylo’s mom.

Happy Birthday my love, my baby boy, my buddy boy. Thank you for the most amazing year of my life!

My big boy on his 1st birthday!