family

Finding Out I’m Pregnant

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It was no deep dark secret that we’ve been trying to add to our family.

I miscarried for the second time last October and spent all of November trying to wrap my head around it. I just wasn’t convinced that I had carried two unhealthy babies. Nor did I believe that it was stress related. Thanks to the encouragement of a good friend who had went through the exact same thing, I pursued a doctor who would run some tests and then supported my efforts to keep my next pregnancy.

Never did I think the following month we’d become pregnant. When I missed my period around the New Year I took a pregnancy test. Minutes later, one faint line appeared. I tossed it in the bathroom garbage. I waited a few more days when I calculated 4 + weeks pregnant (if I was even pregnant) to take another. Again, I peed on a stick early in the morning. Minutes later, only one line appeared.

I lay back in bed and tossed and turned. I didn’t understand how I could be late, but test negative. Was I already in the process of miscarrying? Weeks four to five proved a crucial time in my prior pregnancies — it’s when I had had my two other losses. I didn’t want to start the suppositories if I wasn’t pregnant (they could prevent me from ovulating the following month) and yet if I was pregnant, the suppositories could help me keep the pregnancy.

Jason and I mulled it over in bed and decided I would make an appointment to see Dr. Brennan to have a blood test done.

Later that morning I was back in the bathroom when I saw the pink shiny wrapper of the pregnancy test staring back at me. Something made me pick it up and look at it. Yep, I garbage picked. I couldn’t believe my eyes, there was not one but TWO lines! One very bright and the other more faint. I dug deeper into the garbage and picked up the first pregnancy test. I pulled it out of its wrapper and same thing, two lines. One bright, one even fainter.

Top one was taken at 4 weeks 3 days. Bottom one at 4 weeks.

Top one was taken at 4 weeks 3 days. Bottom one at 4 weeks.

I called for Jason, who was in Mylo’s room, and blurted out “I AM pregnant!” There was a long hug and some tears of joy all while Mylo danced around us. It was a few days into the New Year, and one of the happiest moments of my life.

I’ll admit, patience has never been one of my strongest virtues. Knowing this, my husband told me, “it would have paid to be patient.” He was right. For once.

 

A Brother or Sister for Mylo

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I am thrilled, relieved and pleased to share that we are 13 1/2 weeks pregnant!

Given last year’s losses, I was cautiously optimistic that I would ever make it past five weeks, let alone make it past the first trimester. But this time, I got a little help along the way in the form of vaginal suppositories. And I’m certain that’s why this baby has stayed.

I am grateful for the assistance I got from Dr. Brennan in Brooklyn. And I am so glad I pushed for the suppositories despite him pushing back at one point. On the other hand, I am happy to no longer have to wait up to an hour to see Dr. Brennan, or have my scheduled appointments routinely canceled because he has a mom in labor. I am confident in our decision to bring this baby into the world at home. And relieved that my insurance company approved our request to work with a homebirth midwife!

So much more about the highs and lows of this pregnancy but for now, we await patiently for September 2013 when we get to meet the child who will make Mylo a big brother!

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12 week scan. I swear the baby waved at me :)

 

All About Mylo Weekend

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This past weekend it was all about Mylo. It was perfect timing since the prior weekend he got snowed in at his grandparents on Long Island, then spent his first two days back in Brooklyn at daycare. Not that either of those two things are bad, they’re actually great! After Mylo broke into a fit upon being dropped off at daycare Monday morning, which was followed by a phone call a few hours later because he wasn’t “acting like himself”, it became obvious that our son was missing us.

So the following weekend became what we dubbed, “an all about Mylo weekend.”

Friday we took him to see Sesame Street Live at Madison Square Garden. We arrived early, just in time to see Cookie Monster, Ernie and Zoe dancing around the “fun zone” pre-show. Mylo was in awe.

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The show itself was just like watching an episode. A healthy balance of story telling mixed with educational lessons, singing and dancing. The Sesame Street swag we bought was ridiculously over-priced, but seeing my boys’ eyes light up when he got a hold of his $10 Elmo balloon made every penny well worth it.

Mylo contemplates the craziness of the Fun Zone at Sesame Street Live

Mylo contemplates the craziness of the Fun Zone at Sesame Street Live

Much to our surprise it was 50 degrees when we got out of the show. We took the subway home to Brooklyn and went straight over to his favorite playground.

On Saturday, in honor of Black History Month, we went to the children’s floor of Macy’s for a story book reading of President Barack Obama’s “Of Thee I Sing: A letter to my daughters”.

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Sure Mylo was the only white kid, but we felt welcome nonetheless. We sat at little kiddie tables and made our own keepsake books after the reading. When Mylo grew tired of the festivities we bought him a pair of sandals for our trip to Florida next month. And because we spent more than $25 on the children’s floor, we were given a complimentary copy of Obama’s book.

Later in the day we took Mylo for a haircut. His hairdresser Danielle always does a fabulous job of trimming him while keeping the signature curls that we love.

Two peas in a pod watching "Cars"

Two peas in a pod watching “Cars”

We stopped by one more park afterward and then ended the weekend off with a scrumptious BYOB dinner at Layla Jones.

Mylo alternates between playing with his new "M" train and taking bites of pasta

Mylo alternates between playing with his new “M” train and taking bites of pasta

XMAS 2012

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The holidays came and went so fast. They kicked off with an important visit from my brother, who was in route with his family for an 18 month stint abroad in Singapore. This visit back home was Diya’s first to her dad’s hometown. It was also the last time I would most likely see my brother for the next year or so.

Here are some photos from a memorable Christmas holiday.

Mylo wasn't having it on Santa's lap alone

Daddy and Diya

This Ukulele caused a scene at Barnes & Noble one day. Naturally, Santa made sure he got it for Xmas.

At Goomah's house with the gingerbread house we made in the background

Weathering Superstorm Sandy in Brooklyn

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Following Saturday’s pumpkin picking and painting festivities, Mylo got sick. We were home bound with a fever-stricken child on the cusp of Superstorm Sandy, which was expected to hit the New York City area hard.

Sunday was business as usual in our house. Doing laundry coupled with watching football. When the storm projections became more serious we picked up some essentials from the grocery store and from the drugstore. I’ll admit, the lines out the door and the near-empty shelves had me a tad nervous. But the day rolled on… until Mayor Bloomberg terminated the NYC transit system. My husband was even told not to show up to work – this coming from a boss who rented a van and picked up all his employees during Hurricane Irene last year.

Our deck furniture all battened down!

Monday felt like the longest day ever. We hunkered down with Mylo who was on the mend. We didn’t take our eyes off the news coverage. We took the dogs for quick walks despite the hard winds and constant mist of rain. Luckily, my friend Scott lives upstairs with his wife and a toddler of their own, so when we got real stir crazy, they came over. We drank wine, played with the kids and waited out the storm. Together.

I communicated with my parents on Long Island up until about 5pm.

A mutual friend of mine and Scott’s who lives close to the water in DUMBO was evacuated by the NYC Fire Department after the lobby of his building began to fill with water. The transistors in the basement of the building across the way from them caught on fire. Chris, his girlfriend Julie and their dog, hitched a ride up the hill to our place.

We eventually put the kids to bed and then the “real” Sandy soiree began!

A few bottles of wine, a really good bottle of champagne and some 18 martinis later, we were having a blast. Other than the lights flickering a few times and the loss of TV and Internet, you wouldn’t have known their was a full-fledged hurricane happening right outside. Probably the only pain we felt from Sandy was a hangover the next day.

Friends since kindergarten and the seventh grade!

The morning after Sandy it was eerily quiet out on the streets. There were fallen trees as far as my eyes could see. Sirens wailed in the distance. Normally where there are cars, people were walking in the middle of the street. When we arrived at the bagel place on Court St. we found its massive awning laying in the middle of the street and the doors boarded closed.

Hurricane Sandy's aftermath on Bergen St.

After our unsuccessful bagel trip, we *tried* to get a table at the diner – turns out one of the few places open in our neighborhood – across the street. Just to put things into perspective a little: On a typical day, this diner has a few tables occupied at a time. The morning after Sandy, it was standing room only. When Jason told the host we were six adults and two kids, he pretty much turned us down on the spot and advised him to not bother waiting. Ahh, if only I had the time to write THAT up on Yelp!

Mylo and Olivia walking to the diner the morning after Sandy.

While Monday felt like the longest day ever as we waited and waited for Sandy to make landfall, Tuesday, which was largely spent trying to connect with family, felt even longer. Neither me, Scott or Chris, who’s parents weathered the storm in our hometown, could reach any of them. Jason also lost touch with his father in Westchester.

I didn’t hear from my folks until Wednesday, a whole two days after the storm. They lost power, had a ton of downed trees in their yard pulling down power lines, and had to drive around town just to find an unreliable cell phone connection. And then came the mile-long lines for gasoline to fill their generator. They likened my safe, hilly, waterfront town with no traffic lights, road detours and tons of downed trees to that of a “war zone.”

Superstorm Sandy nailed some and not others. We were virtually unaffected by it while my folks have been royally stressed and inconvenienced by it. But there are others whose lives have been forever changed by the storm. When I really think about it, I am grateful. Beyond grateful.

 

 

 

Sidi’s Back!

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This is a partner post. Opinions expressed here are my own.

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Today, my dad resumed his weekly childcare visits with Mylo. Since I went back to work when my son was about eight months old, my dad began babyitting Mylo at least one day per week. And when my mother-in-law is in France each summer, he comes to Brooklyn from his home on Long Island to be with Mylo two days per week.

But all that changed in August. My dad’s love of sports and challenging himself physically finally caught up with him. For the last couple of years he developed what started out as an aching pain, and wound up as debilitating pain, in his leg. After many doctor’s visits, MRI’s and second opinions, it was determined that he needed a total hip replacement.

I’ve missed running with my dad these last couple of years. What began as a hobby became a way of life for my dad over the last decade. I ran a marathon first, but when the extensive training began to take a toll on my younger body, and my love life, my old man eventually surpassed me in running long distances. He even became a seasoned “ultra runner.”

Before the start of the 2003 NYC Marathon

The decision to do the surgery was a no-brainer, however the decision to speed up the date of it, happened almost overnight. It was a big adjustment for everyone, namely Mylo, who was used to having “sidi” around a couple of days out of the week. But I know it was just as tough on my dad. Holed up at home unable to drive, or to sit comfortably on anything other than a special highchair, I know that his romps around Brooklyn with his grandson, were sorely missed.

Sidi and Mylo in Brooklyn a couple of weeks before the surgery

I’d be remiss not to mention my mom’s role in all this. She woke at the crack of dawn to accompany my dad to the Hospital of Special Surgery in New York City on the day of his surgery. She was there to help decipher doctor/healthcare speak. And she was there when he woke up and came out of surgery… all while having her trusty iPad on hand. If she wasn’t playing Words With Friends she was playing Scramble With Friends. Lucky for us, my mom hasn’t feasted her eyes on FoxyBingo.com… yet.

So things are back to normal. Mylo’s in daycare Mondays and Tuesdays. He’s with his “goomah” (my MIL), on Wednesdays, with Sidi on Thursdays and with me, on Fridays. We save the best for last in this family. LOL

 

My Big Bro

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My brother Aki is one of the most sensitive people I know. It is one of the qualities I love most about him. The other day when we video chatted via gmail with Mylo, he welled up with tears. I called him on it, but in hindsight I knew damn well why he was misty-eyed. Besides the fact that he hasn’t seen his nephew in a while, he is expecting a tyke of his own in weeks, maybe even days.

It’s almost impossible not to feel like an emotional basket case during the imminent arrival of your first child, the little person you do not yet know but who will change your life forever. I have no doubt that seeing Mylo triggered a happy place for my brother, a place he does not yet know but has spent the last nine + months dreaming about.

I am so excited to watch him become an incredible and doting dad. But I feel so many other things, too. His starting a family means less visits back East to see us. And because we’re on different coasts I don’t expect that I’ll get to know his daughter as well as I would like.

It feels like just yesterday when Aki and I were cruising in my mom’s BMW with the sunroof open, going over the Robert Moses Causeway Bridge. The sun beating down on our curly hair, the ocean’s breeze on our face, we were young, unattached and full of possibility. Now we live on different coasts, have started families of our own, and are on other ends of the spectrum career-wise.

My brother and his wife’s future is taking off. They have a baby on the way and their careers have been prosperous. I couldn’t be happier for them. I only have one sibling and yet sometimes it feels like the distance between us is growing.

Aki & Sarita sharing a weekend alone before the baby

 

Mother’s Day Deserved

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When I was seven months pregnant people were wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day – on Facebook and in passing friends and neighbors on the street. It didn’t feel right. I hadn’t the faintest idea about the huge role I was about to take on, but I thanked folks all the same.

Last year, when Mylo was nine months old it still didn’t feel like “my” day yet. Just the day in which I’ve honored my own mom for the last 30 + years.

But this year feels different for some reason. My son is almost two years old and he’s a handful and a half. He was an active baby and he’s even more active now as a toddler. I love him more each day, even if those days are challenging. There are times I don’t feel like the greatest mom, but I know I’m doing my best. I imagine I’ll carry this sentiment with me for the rest of my life and so it makes perfect sense why Mother’s Day exists. Because even if I’m not the best mom, I am honored, and thanked, for trying to be on this one day every year.

Mylo came home from daycare with this card on Thursday. Obviously, it wasn’t a solo effort. But if it was, then my son really IS a genius!

The daycare ladies really know how to tug at your heart strings :)

I loved my first Mother’s Day card, on what feels like my first real Mother’s Day.

Our New Home

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We’ve been in our new home in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn for over a month and we love it. The actual move was a total bitch and it took us several days sans child (he was at his grandparents house in Connecticut) to make the apartment safe and ready for our son to come home to.

When people ask how our new place is I say it’s great, it is, but coming from seven years of living in a full service building I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was also a big adjustment. The three bedroom apartment with a deck is a total upgrade as far as apartments go but the one floor walk-up with no super has been a complete downgrade in buildings.

Mylo on our deck which has no furniture, yet.

For instance, we are responsible for sorting our recycling and taking the trash to the curb three times per week in our new home. In our old building we were one of 320 apartments in which anything you threw out went down a garbage chute at any time of day you wanted. In our new home recycling only gets collected on Mondays. I can tell you from two weeks of some of our refuse getting rejected that the Department of Sanitation is strict when it comes to having the right bags, the right twine and the right square foot of curb for your trash.

Now that we have our garbage routine down there is a nice ebb and flow to our lives here on Bergen Street. We’re a little worried about what the empty storefront down below will be. If it’s a bar we’re screwed but if it’s a burger joint as it’s rumored to be, even as vegetarians we could probably make do. But of course a shoe store that closes at 8pm would be the ideal downstairs neighbor!

Another awesome thing about our new home is that my friend Scott from junior high school, his wife Shelly and their 10 month old daughter Olivia, live upstairs from us. It’s been a blast. We drink wine in our pajamas, not to mention it’s proved convenient when we’ve locked ourselves out of our respective apartments. Mylo gave Olivia her first kiss the other night — my heart melted and Scott’s raced as he watched his little girl squeal in delight. Never in my life did I think our children would be playing together, much less stealing precious moments together. To tell you that mine and Scott’s relationship growing up was one built on a lot of joking around is an understatement. But it was also shaped and somewhat marred by the tragic loss of a mutual friend. I am so glad he is back in my life and of course it helps that I adore Shelly, too!