There it is. I am thinking of becoming a doula.
My motivation for wanting to become a doula is my own birth experience.
Giving birth naturally was the crowning (no pun intended) moment in my life. It was the first time I understood the depth of my power and connection to the world and nature. It has changed the way I look at myself. I want more women to birth the way nature intended us to. When it comes to childbirth, I believe that women shouldn’t have to secede to man and his machines. Becoming a doula would affect what has become status quo when it comes to childbirth in this country.
Along with Goodnight Moon, my current bedside read.
My inspiration for wanting to become a doula is my mom.
Last year when I was pregnant, I told my mom that we were considering hiring a doula. She quipped, “You don’t need a doula, you’ve got me!”
Yes, I was one of those women who dared to let my mother be privy to one of the most vulnerable, intimate experiences of my life. And I should preface this by saying that my mom tends to wade in the bossy end of the pool (mom, if you’re reading this — I love you but you know it’s true).
I gave my mom clear orders weeks in advance of my due date. “Don’t talk down to the nurses. Don’t question my midwife. And whatever you do, DON’T try and run the show.”
As it turned out, having my mom as part of my birth team proved invaluable.
My mom timed my contractions at home. She held my hair back while I vomited profusely. She rubbed the small of my back in between contractions. She fed me water through a straw. She spoke to the nurses as if they were old college roommates. She kept an eye on Jason, my worried husband. She was in essence, my doula.
A Doula has to have amazing stamina. I know from my own experience that births could last 30 hours, possibly more! Now I’ll admit, I value nothing more than my sleep. And my designer shoe collection. And my son. But I also know I could go the distance. My stamina has shined in the four marathons I have trained for, and completed. The high of life entering the world is quite like the high that comes from pounding pavement for four hours.
Doula work is about providing emotional and physical support, something I know I would be good at. It’s not that far off from my time volunteering with hospice. Or time spent keeping company with homeless animals the night before they’re scheduled to be killed.
They are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, but birth is strikingly similar to death. Difficult and hauntingly beautiful.
Childbirth. Few other events in the life of a couple bring them together in such a memorable and profound fashion. I would be honored to be a part of that.